It's Been Almost Three Years...

--New Life--

Here's a story for you. A 29 year-old man from Downey, California leaves his friends, family, and life behind to start life new again in a small little mountain town in Park City, Utah. We fast forward his life almost three years later, now, 32 years-old and he wonders if it was all worth it.

In the summer of 2009, I was not getting along with my roommate, Erick. I was also stuck at a dead-end job with no room for me to climb up the ladder. I believe I was only making eight dollars and fifty cents an hour and having some rough choices to make (do I eat or pay rent this month). Around this time, I was thinking about something that my uncle had told me about a few months prior. He said that I could move in with him at his house in Park City, Utah.

I never wanted to move. I had a life in Downey. My family and friends lived there and in the surrounding areas. The problem was that I was stuck in a hole and I could not get out of it. When I said earlier that my roommate and I were not getting along, I meant that it got to the point that he wanted me out of the house. I really had NO money to move out and I had nowhere else to turn so I started talking to my uncle. He said, "find a job out here, and you can move in".

After a month of looking, I found work as a ski technician at Deer Valley Ski Resort in Park City. Now, at this time, I didn't know anything about skis. I hadn't even been on skis since I was six or seven years old. How was I going to do this? Then it got to the point where I didn't want this job and I was about ready to talk to my mom and see if I could move in with her. I was really starting to look for an excuse to stay in California. Then I started thinking and I had a feeling that my uncle wasn't going to let me down. So, I called back Deer Valley and took the job.

All this time, I started saying my goodbyes and gathered my all my affairs in order. I was starting to get excited. This was going to be a huge change for me. I made some sacrifices a long the way. I was going to miss my friends and family, and it really hurt saying goodbye and knowing that I wasn't going to be a part of their lives as much as wanted.

In November, 2009, I finally made the trek up from Downey to Park City. It was the hardest thing I had to do. A few months in, I started feeling better about it. I found a job that really brought joy to me. Being a ski technician. Then, a year and a half went by and I started getting depressed.

--The Dark Times--

There was a point that I started feeling lonely. I started missing my friends. I really missed my mom and sister. I would call. Nobody would pick up the phone. I'd leave messages, nobody would call me back. I would ask if anybody would come out this way and some would say yes. Others would say it costs too much to come out. Of the ones who said yes, something would always happen and nobody would end up coming out. I knew that whenever I got lonely, I couldn't just jump on the next plane and visit. On the bright side, I have had a couple of friends come out this way. The last friend that came out was in 2010.

It really bugged me. 'What did I do to everybody that they wouldn't come out and visit me?" That was the question I would ask myself over and over again. It was truly hurting me seeing these status updates that my friends would put up. "Vegas, baby, Vegas" or "On our way to the Packers game". I felt that this was the excuse: "I have no money to go see you, but I have money to go do this other stuff, ha ha ha". I was really angry. I couldn't tell anyone because I didn't want it to be a "poor me' story.

I started realizing that it wasn't the case. I just need to grow up. To everybody out there, Don't tell me that you're gonna visit me unless you're absolutely sure.

--Reality--

So, the last part was pretty dark. I'm sorry but I needed to get that out. It hurt, but through therapy, It got better. Life got a little better too. I fugured out that I need to embrace life and count my blessings. I am happy. The reality is, I may live here now, but if I'm ever going to get back home, I need to put my focus into that, but I need to enjoy life while I'm getting to that goal.

So, nobody can come out this way, and I can't come out that way. It hurts, but so what. I need to stop bickering and enjoy the life that God has given me.

--Epilogue--

It's pretty weird how I went from a blog about moving on, to a blog about hate, to a blog about me getting over myself. Like I said, I guess I needed it to come out. Sorry about that. I miss my home. It would be nice for someone to come out this way just so I could show them around. This is my home now, and like I said, I need to embrace it. Thanks for letting me vent.

-The end.